EDU 777 Reflection

**UNDER CONSTRUCTION**

I am currently in the process of building a toolbox. Before you get all excited - this isn't as easy as it may seem. 

Image Source: Giphy

Sure, I can go online and search directions on how to make different ones, but that doesn't mean that it will fit every need there is. 

I also cannot go to the local hardware store to purchase one as it needs to fit everyone that is going to use it. 


Did I mention that this isn't any ordinary toolbox? Oh no.  This toolbox is incorporating technology, instructional strategies, and instructional models in an effort to help give each and every student the best mathematical experience they could endure while in middle school. 

This is hard.

It started with the desire to get every middle school student to love math... or at least not hate it. A typical response for many people that I have encountered has been, "I'm not a math person" or "I cannot do math." They make it seem like it is genetic, passed down through generations, and they give up before it even begins. This is a true bother to me and one of the reasons why I left the classroom four years ago to become our district's Math Curriculum Specialist - to help teachers give students the best possible math experiences that they will carry on with them and continue to build upon. 

The timing was never right to begin this in the middle school - we needed to build our team after 8 of the teachers switched positions or left, and we were piloting and then adopting a new curricular program to learn and explore - until now. The stars seemed to align I was assigned a project in my EDU777 Learning Theories and Instructional Designs class in which I am to design a solution to a problem I have encountered. Please let me note: I don't see the current math instruction to be a problem. It works... sometimes... But I want it to be better and more purposeful. Because in the end - the kids deserve it. 

The process has been slow so far; but I have to remind myself that that is alright. This is going to be a process that continues to build and build over the years, so I need to make sure that the foundation is as strong as it can be. After all, I cannot start throwing my tools in until the structure of the toolbox has been built and the tools have places to go. It also doesn't help that we are encountering a global pandemic and I am not able to speak to people face-to-face and discuss this with them, or even gather current instructional data while they are in the classroom. 

It also doesn't help that it is currently summer vacation for teachers and they deserve the break from teaching, or even a break from the computer. After 10-weeks of dominating At Home Learning, they need this time to rest, relax, and rejuvenate themselves. Unfortunately this puts more pressure on me to build the structure of the toolbox and I currently cannot get as much input from them as I would like. 

On a personal note, when my uncle unexpectedly passed in January my strong-independent-never-asks-for-help Dad came to me in tears. He was overwhelmed with the work at the office that my uncle was in charge of. If you don't know me, I am a complete Daddy's girl (still in my mid-to-late thirties) who would do anything for him - so this week I started working for him.

I won't lie when I say that I am losing steam - I think we all are. But I will also say that I haven't lost hope. In three short weeks this project has already taught me so much. Here are a few highlights:

• If I want to make any change on instruction, teachers don't need a million tools thrown at them. They need to find one(s) that they are interested in and one(s) they are willing to try. 
• It is okay We need to start slow. Teachers need time to research and learn about the different instructional strategies and models, and how technology can play a part in them. They need to find the masterful moments and build up their own efficacy first. So even if it is something that coincides with my beliefs or thoughts, it is important that I still support them through the learning process. In the end, it may even change my own thoughts and beliefs. 
• I will need the support of administration throughout all of this. They need to be there to celebrate every win alongside of us, and the teachers need to see me as their advocate and not as an evaluator. 

I look forward to the rest of this project, even though I know it won't be complete any time soon. I believe that it is building me up as an educational designer myself, and I look forward to the ways that we can combine math instruction with the P21 standards. We will give all students the best math experiences that will allow them to transfer and apply their learning seamlessly and effortlessly. 

In the meantime I will continue to tread lightly and build the structure of the toolbox to the best of my ability. 

Image Source: Giphy